The past month has felt great in my running shoes. So great that I feel more like myself and ready to take charge of the day once those 6 miles have been absorbed in my blood. So much so, that this doesn't feel like a workout anymore, but rather what I do.
Does running make me Me?
Have I become a slave to the weekly mileage log?
I don't think so. Because as soon as I recognized that running was my way of having fun with my free time, I looked for a new challenge that would keep my body changing and progressing.
Enter Bikram Yoga.
I walked out of Bikram NYC nine years ago and never went back. The balancing frustrated me. The postures that I had to conform to always won the battle and made me feel like a loser. A fat loser. My roommate at the time, of course, loved it so much that she went on to continue her training and become certified to teach. Nine years later, she's still at it.
Enter my husband. A strong man with an even stronger mind. Someone who loves challenges as much as me - but probably doesn't need to run more than 2 miles at a time. We like to be active together, but since both of our jobs consist of running around the city sweating, we usually end up as blobs in the bed, barely able to say goodnight through our exhaustion.
So I signed us up for an amazingly priced deal at 105F studios. As many classes as one can take in one month for one price. If you take 3 classes, the fee is worth it. So I committed myself to 20 classes this month. No matter what, I WILL go 20 times. I will conquer my old mindset, hold accept the postures that were once the bain of my existence, and DO this.
A few evenings ago, we went to our first class. We were welcomed warmly as soon as we entered, and all nervousness over yoga snobs and being in a new environment subsided. At first the hot room felt great. My husband, being outside for most of his days in Chicago's recent subzero temperatures, greatly appreciated this retreat. It was nice to watch him smile and see a lot of tension melt away.
The balancing postures that I once loathed actually weren't that difficult to hold. I didn't feel fat anymore. I didn't feel like a loser.
I felt beautiful.
Amidst my sweat (and tears), I felt beautiful.
The first shavasana (dead man's) pose brought tears to my eyes. 9 years later, I had finally done it. My body was healthy. My mind was focused. My stomach was no longer in the way.
And my husband was next to me. Suffering through this hot, HOT room because he knew how much it meant to me.
The remainder of class consisted of postures on the floor, which I remembered liking a bit more. It is amazing how much the body can store and recall. The heart rate intervals through bow pose and camel almost felt good - because of my fitness knowledge on the benefit of interval training. There in those moments, I was taking care of ME for the first time in quite awhile. Nothing else mattered. The rest of the world had melted away. I was connected to my mind and body again without being afraid of the outcome. I was safe.
So I went again the next day. This time solo. I wanted my body to know that the night before had not been an accident, and that we were really in this new challenge. I had the same feeling of accomplishment at the end - albeit different moments throughout the class where I felt like quitting or taking a break.
In the end, it is only a hour and a half of the day. What you do with that hour and a half can possibly make the remaining 22.5 hours even more fulfilling.
Day 3 of my self-imposed challenge is scheduled for tonight at 8.
How do you stay challenged? Is there something you are afraid to try?
Also, here is the song that inspired the title to this post : http://youtu.be/1sWi4_0jycA
Also, here is the song that inspired the title to this post : http://youtu.be/1sWi4_0jycA
No comments:
Post a Comment