At long last, this little girl has returned to write another day.
What took so long, I ask myself?
Fear.
I silenced myself for fear of the honesty that would leak from my veins onto the interwebs, and in turn, let the very people who "don't know me" actually know me.
Fear of not being funny enough and therefore boring anyone who stumbled upon my musings.
Fear of not taking or finding the right photos to accompany my words.
Fear that my anger would spill out.
Fear of how my love would be perceived.
Fear of getting fat.
Procrastination.
I have read countless "Top 20 Reasons You're A _____ Girl" lists and countless fitness articles and blogs. The ideas I had on all of them could have been shared, sure....but then again my fear of vulnerability was at stake. And if I wrote, I might miss the latest episode of Revenge or Chicago Fire . Did Charlie need a walk? Was the workout plan for next Tuesday completed? Did we have the seating chart for the wedding complete?
Simply put - I willingly let my own life get in the way.
I'm smiling now, because it is not a bad life to allow to get in one's way. The man who showed me the real Chicago is now my husband, and as I shared above, we have the cutest Shar Pei. I am still singing, thanks to Don't Speak: A No Doubt Tribute. And finally, I believe I have made the friends I was searching for all along. Still, I spend countless hours wondering what the hell I'm doing and where the hell I'm going and if I'm even still going anywhere.
Perhaps the theme of this blog has changed, but after perusing some of my old posts and getting nostalgically entertained, I've elected to keep it.
It is bleak (read: cold as f*ck) after all.
