I am the least fashionable person I know, so titling this post with a quote from Betsey Johnson may seem odd; but her persona and energy are electric, and her business savvy is inspiration no matter the field. Plus, it's true (and this dress is super cute). We must learn from our past to better our future. So I took a look back at a post I wrote 5 years ago that commemorated my 6th Mensiversary as a Chicago resident.
As of yesterday, I have lived in Chicago for 6 months. Though I feel a little disappointed in myself, and I'm more broke than I have ever been, I am taking a good friend's advice and counting my accomplishments thus far.
#1 - Equinox Group Fitness Instructor (step aerobics, Evolution, cardio junkie/cardio blitz). Still not teaching enough permanent classes to receive health insurance, but covering for enough instructors to have the members requesting my name on their schedules more often.
#2 - Wicked audition
#3 - Jersey Boys singers call followed by the next day dance call.
#4 - Performing at Double Door
#5 - Getting into the Midnight Shows and lining up gigs
#6 - I don't know. I can't think of a #6. Possibly the fact that I'm still alive? I didn't move away to New York when things got hard? I'm almost done combing through my musical for the last time?
Six Things I want to have accomplished:
#1 - Have lined up a theatre company or space in which to produce Something New: A Musical Dramedy
#2 - Play gigs more than once every other month.
#3 - Pay off my credit card
#4 - Get cast in a show (I will not refer to myself as The Callback Girl ANYMORE)
#5 - Finish recording an EP with Adam
#6 - Get cast in another show
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Flash forward to today, where I now have been a Chicago resident for 5 years and 6 months.
I've lived in 6 apartments.
That credit card is paid off.
I have played many more than 1 show every other month (Feb 2012 we hit 5 times).
Currently developing new music and exploring a new sound outside of our covers.
The Midnight Shows doesn't exist anymore, but the creator of that group has moved on to bigger and better things, and it has been enjoyable to watch The Dead On achieve great momentum.
I work enough to not have to worry about money, and believe I have the best job in the world for me.
I don't really worry about being cast in shows, because I feel as though I have a performance every day. What drew me to performing in the first place was the fact that a group of people could all transcend along the same energy to another mental space and time where nothing else mattered. This is what I have the pleasure of doing multiple times every day, and see that it really helps people.
I also don't worry about auditions anymore, because of the creation of a project where we get to call the shots. Thanks to the guys who allow me to make music with them every day, I feel fulfilled.
Another thing I did notice about that old list was that it was full of loneliness and want. I've learned so much more about the human condition in the past 5 years, and part of that is the acceptance that we will always feel lonely. It is more about strengthening and adding depth to the bonds around us so that in moments of loneliness, we do not feel absolutely destitute. That list was devoid of all aspects that make life accomplishments more enjoyable, and if anything has changed about me in the past 5 years, it is that I'm not afraid to make known how much I love having someone in my life. I have not been afraid to express how much I appreciate the presence and hard work of friends who have stuck by, or the new ones who were brave enough not to hit the ground running when I may have hugged to tight.
Taking a look back to read that last paragraph, I fear it makes me appear needy and it almost got deleted. But alas, those are only words, after all. And as my tattoo states, we must be "louder than words."
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