A Romantic's Take on the Anti-Valentine

I have never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day.

Sure, I have memories of Valentine's Days past, when my dad gave me jewelry or when my mom taught me how to make lobster tails.

But I never have been a fan of the whole world telling me when to make a huge deal out of telling someone how much I love him. Or transversely, laying the pressure on that special someone so they go overboard making plans to impress me. I don't want just a day. I want a whole lifetime of love. 

Enter my husband. The sweetest, most lovey-dovey guy I have ever met. I love the way his face lights up when he comes home from his early morning gig and sees a yummy plate of French toast. I love the way he waits to pick me up from later classes so that I don't have to go home alone in the dark. Or the times we randomly decide to go out to a fancy dinner, dressed up so much that people ask what the special occasion might be. And the simple Sunday afternoons when we take the dog on a long stroll, and he lets me loop my arm through his. The whispered phrase "I love you" makes me feel more special than any Cupid-driven display in my past life.

One day is simply not enough to show that a relationship is special or worthwhile. Especially the day everyone else is doing the same darn thing. Save the roses and candlelight, this year we're grabbing our friends and sharing the love on another adventure.

"You have to take a look backwards in order to go forward!" --Betsey JohnsonXox

I am the least fashionable person I know, so titling this post with a quote from Betsey Johnson may seem odd; but her persona and energy are electric, and her business savvy is inspiration no matter the field. Plus, it's true (and this dress is super cute). We must learn from our past to better our future. So I took a look back at a post I wrote 5 years ago that commemorated my 6th Mensiversary as a Chicago resident.


As of yesterday, I have lived in Chicago for 6 months. Though I feel a little disappointed in myself, and I'm more broke than I have ever been, I am taking a good friend's advice and counting my accomplishments thus far.

#1 - Equinox Group Fitness Instructor (step aerobics, Evolution, cardio junkie/cardio blitz). Still not teaching enough permanent classes to receive health insurance, but covering for enough instructors to have the members requesting my name on their schedules more often.

#2 - Wicked audition

#3 - Jersey Boys singers call followed by the next day dance call.

#4 - Performing at Double Door

#5 - Getting into the Midnight Shows and lining up gigs

#6 - I don't know. I can't think of a #6. Possibly the fact that I'm still alive? I didn't move away to New York when things got hard? I'm almost done combing through my musical for the last time?


Six Things I want to have accomplished:

#1 - Have lined up a theatre company or space in which to produce Something New: A Musical Dramedy

#2 - Play gigs more than once every other month.

#3 - Pay off my credit card

#4 - Get cast in a show (I will not refer to myself as The Callback Girl ANYMORE)

#5 - Finish recording an EP with Adam

#6 - Get cast in another show



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Flash forward to today, where I now have been a Chicago resident for 5 years and 6 months.

I've lived in 6 apartments.

That credit card is paid off. 

I have played many more than 1 show every other month (Feb 2012 we hit 5 times).

Currently developing new music and exploring a new sound outside of our covers. 

The Midnight Shows doesn't exist anymore, but the creator of that group has moved on to bigger and better things, and it has been enjoyable to watch The Dead On achieve great momentum.

I work enough to not have to worry about money, and believe I have the best job in the world for me. 

I don't really worry about being cast in shows, because I feel as though I have a performance every day. What drew me to performing in the first place was the fact that a group of people could all transcend along the same energy to another mental space and time where nothing else mattered. This is what I have the pleasure of doing multiple times every day, and see that it really helps people.

I also don't worry about auditions anymore, because of the creation of a project where we get to call the shots. Thanks to the guys who allow me to make music with them every day, I feel fulfilled.



Another thing I did notice about that old list was that it was full of loneliness and want. I've learned so much more about the human condition in the past 5 years, and part of that is the acceptance that we will always feel lonely. It is more about strengthening and adding depth to the bonds around us so that in moments of loneliness, we do not feel absolutely destitute. That list was devoid of all aspects that make life accomplishments more enjoyable, and if anything has changed about me in the past 5 years, it is that I'm not afraid to make known how much I love having someone in my life. I have not been afraid to express how much I appreciate the presence and hard work of friends who have stuck by, or the new ones who were brave enough not to hit the ground running when I may have hugged to tight.

Taking a look back to read that last paragraph, I fear it makes me appear needy and it almost got deleted. But alas, those are only words, after all. And as my tattoo states, we must be "louder than words."

Fun In Unsuspecting Places

Only when all expectations are dropped and judgements set aside can we truly open up and let the laughter flow.

Too often, we are consumed by setting plans that have to be a certain way, or setting a bar too high that the struggle seems never ending. It isn't until I drop all preconceived notions and self-ridicule that I find myself finally amidst the laughter instead of surrounded by it.

A (non)Valiant Return

At long last, this little girl has returned to write another day.

What took so long, I ask myself?

Fear.
I silenced myself for fear of the honesty that would leak from my veins onto the interwebs, and in turn, let the very people who "don't know me" actually know me.
Fear of not being funny enough and therefore boring anyone who stumbled upon my musings.
Fear of not taking or finding the right photos to accompany my words.
Fear that my anger would spill out.
Fear of how my love would be perceived.
Fear of getting fat.

Procrastination.
I have read countless "Top 20 Reasons You're A _____ Girl" lists and countless fitness articles and blogs. The ideas I had on all of them could have been shared, sure....but then again my fear of vulnerability was at stake. And if I wrote, I might miss the latest episode of Revenge or Chicago Fire . Did Charlie need a walk? Was the workout plan for next Tuesday completed? Did we have the seating chart for the wedding complete?

Simply put - I willingly let my own life get in the way.

I'm smiling now, because it is not a bad life to allow to get in one's way. The man who showed me the real Chicago is now my husband, and as I shared above, we have the cutest Shar Pei. I am still singing, thanks to Don't Speak: A No Doubt Tribute. And finally, I believe I have made the friends I was searching for all along. Still, I spend countless hours wondering what the hell I'm doing and where the hell I'm going and if I'm even still going anywhere.

Perhaps the theme of this blog has changed, but after perusing some of my old posts and getting nostalgically entertained, I've elected to keep it.

It is bleak (read: cold as f*ck) after all.

Learning New Terms: "Butt Rock"

After as interesting a conversation as one can imagine between a boyfriend and girlfriend concerning music, the term "butt rock" arose. Boyfriend mentions it as casually as ever while describing a band Girlfriend has brought to attention. Girlfriend hears the term, almost dismisses it, and, between mounds of laughter, screams "BUTT ROCK??!!" Boyfriend is shocked that Girlfriend has not heard aforementioned term, and proceeds to find her a definition.
This is what he found on urbandictionary.com:A kind of music popular amoung tweens esp. in the midwest and is usualy found in the alternative rock section of a music store. Butt rock bands usualy have perdictable percusion break downs, simple bass lines, simple gutar riffs and overly emotional/ semi romantic lyrics. The trade mark of butt rock is the straind vocals that make the sinnger sound like he is constipated. This is where "butt" rock gets its name. Examples include: Hinder, Creed, Matchbox 20, three doors down, avenge seven fold, ect. Its is possable for a band to resemble butt rock but not actualy be butt rock. I.E. staind, coldplay, foo fighters.

Meanwhile, Girlfriend is still rolling on the floor laughing amidst the wonderment that, what if the people who like "butt rock" don't know the term because their affinity for it creates an ignorance and immunity against it? Boyfriend knew the term. Boyfriend has a great taste in music. Girlfriend did not know the term. Aside from academic music, Girlfriend knows nothing about rock definitions outside of Aerosmith's biography and a fondness for drums.
So a day later, Girlfriend went on a search to more properly define the term in hopes of defending a type of music. What she found was another similar case of an ignorant, butt-rock lover faced with a non-butt-rock-believer that used the term to slam the music.

The following are exerpts from his post that Girlfriend found to be believable, true, and not in any way insulting to a form of music that she finds most appropriate as the soundtrack to a fast ride down Lake Shore Drive with all windows down and sun roof open.

"I spent a little time trying to find a way to define Butt-Rock so that I could wield it as an insult without worrying (or perhaps knowing when to worry) about having it turned back on me. One caveat: this definition is based mostly on me scratching my head, not looking around at how the term is used. I'm sure that I'm not entirely off the mark, but I doubt everyone will buy into what I have to say.

• Condition 1: music must be testosterone-driven.
• Condition 2: music must be rockin'.
• Condition 3: music must take itself seriously (especially its own testosterone).

By way of clarification and defense, here are some examples of bands that I take to meet or not meet these conditions:

• Type O Negative. Conditions 1 and 2 are nicely fulfilled, but condition 3 is not. If the scope of the tongue-in-cheek-ness is equal to or greater than the scope of the testosterone, not Butt-Rock.
• Korn and that other 'nu' metal. Certainly condition 1 and condition 3 (though there are perhaps some condition 3 exceptions). Condition 2 is more variable. I'm generally no 'nu' metal fan, but I'd only call some of it Butt-Rock.
• Hair metal. Hole in one. I think that some people take Hair Metal and Butt-Rock to be the same thing, but I feel that Butt-Rock is a broader notion. For example, I don't think Pantera entirely left their Butt-Rockness behind from 'Cowboys' onward (something I say with much respect for an exceptional set of musicians - RIP Dimebag).
• Country-western. Especially truck-inspired. 1 and 3, but not 2. Much of this music reminds me of things like butts, but there is no Butt-Rock without the rock.

So is any of the music I like Butt-Rock, by these conditions? The songs about macho cars settle it. But then why do I still bristle at the thought of anyone calling Sepultura Butt-Rock? I think this is because with White Zombie, there is some awareness of the Butt-Rockin', but this awareness just moves them to rock that much harder (as they say).

"Music to sit around drinking cheap American beer and watching Nascar with...or putting your fist through a wall. So calling them Butt-Rock suggests that they've failed in trying to make a certain type of music."

Why is this music called 'Butt Rock'? The 'rock' comes from the definition, but what about the 'butt'? Well, in the 80's, the leaders of what I call Butt Rock wore outfits that, among another things, allowed one to know almost every contour of their butts. But but but, you say, not all instances of music that fit the above characterization are played by people with butt-pants. Some cases' get-ups even leave it up in the air whether or not the musicians have butts at all. Well, it looks like this is a matter of the 'butt' being part of a reference-fixing description that itself turned into something that works in a way similar to natural kind terms like 'quicksilver' (which isn't silver in the original sense). Or something like that."

Thank you to the author at http://homepages.nyu.edu/~crm281/butt.html for the outstanding post.

Now do me a favor and turn to the person next to you and say "Butt Rock" in a serious tone.

;-)

Hawthorne Heights: Skeletons

"It was the middle of the night..." begins vocalist JT Woodruff as he invites listeners into "Bring You Back," the first track on Skeletons. The song serves as an introduction to a journey through this album as well as an ode to former member Casey Calvert, whom the band lost in 2007. Opening the album with such an homage and expression of pain and loss prepares the listener to continue along with the future of Skeletons, just as the band did. Woodruff sings, "I'd do anything if I could bring you back," but since that wish is highly unlikely, Hawthorne Heights proceeds to tell the story of Skeletons, an album "about escaping from all the bullshit around you and rebuilding yourself after what seems like total devastation."

There is much to be celebrated with the June 1, 2010 release of Skeletons. It is the fourth full-length studio album compiled by Hawthorne Heights, though the first to be released under Wind-Up Records after a rough bout with Victory Records. The new label has given the band a fresh drawing board with what sounds like a lot more freedom. New label, new sound. Long-time fans of the band may disagree, but the turn toward more melodic verses and beautifully harmonized choruses sans Calvert's unclean vocals have changed their sound for the better. Just check out the anthem in "Last Few Words." Rather than an unnecessary scream, words are emphasized by a melodic echo as well as pleasing harmonies. Not to worry about the loss of any signature edge or roughness, though. "Abandoned Driveways" provides more harsh vocals that cut through Eron Bucciarelli's vicious drumming and Micah Carli's distorted guitar patterns. The song communicates an aggressive take on being so much a presence in a person's life that you become their "gateway drug," and will not get away too soon.

The band is toting the album's second track, "Nervous Breakdown," as the first single and have already released it for streaming on their myspace. The chorus is catchy enough, but the hook happens in the first few seconds when Matt Ridenour and his bass introduce a tighter, funkier 80s feel. Have fun with dance-groove friendly "Hollywood and Vine," which supplies a bit more pop in the lyric construction and a heart-stopping break before the last chorus. Even more fun is had with a more electronically driven and tight dance beat in "Drive." "Drive, just drive./Roll the windows down feel alive./Alright, alright, I'll drive until the morning light." If that sunrise reflects the awakening of a new era for Hawthorne Heights, then Wind me up and count me in.

"End of the Underground," which was originally slated to appear on the bands last album Fragile Futures. Props for this choice, as the confidence in moving forward has a better fit in Skeletons, rather than an album that dealt more with reactions to the loss of a best friend. But more than that, "the end of the underground" communicates the band starting over - getting what appears to be a second chance in their careers by working under a new label. A heavier, fuller instrumentation throughout both verse and chorus may even be the foundation upon which this album is built. Listening again, it is almost as if they knew three years ago that this song would be the launch of a new beginning. After all, the album's title is derived from the lyric "The skeletons are screaming for one last dance." And no, Hawthorne Heights, "you are not alone." The personal growth that has been thrown into the songwriting and intelligent arrangements for this record provide the rest of the body for those Skeletons, and will hopefully make the leap from that last dance into the next thousand dances, as the future appears even brighter.

In Eron's words, "[Skeletons] is about making bad decisions and learning to deal with the outcomes but still pushing on...having confidence in yourself and who you are. And being positive despite seemingly insurmountable odds." I would say that after a listen, those odds are in your favor. If a listen at home isn't enough, check the band's website for information on a free download when you buy a ticket to see them LIVE on tour this summer.

A Sample Life Live on Video!

Adam used his mastermind video creating skills to piece together this new video showcasing the different variety of genres, eras, and styles covered by A Sample Life.