One Step at a Time

I am not a domestic goddess. 

I am not a regular goddess.

I am not vegan.

I am addicted to sugar.

M&Ms, cookies, banana smoothies, Cadbury, etc. You name it, and I'll gladly run 6 or more miles to justify giving in to the craving.

The problem is, no matter how many miles I run, nothing can undo what sugar does to my blood and hormones. I have been noticing this difference over the past year as I am not a 22 year-old with a metabolism of gold anymore. My body has pretty well adapted to running, cross training, cardio dance, BOSU craziness, et al, because of my job. I could spend 5 hours in the gym or 2 hours in the gym and would never see a difference beyond dehydration. A respected co-instructor said, "Why not revisit your nutritional intake instead of burning out your body and obtaining overuse injuries?"

Thank you, Laura, for telling me what deep down I already knew. 

The past few days were dedicated to eating only smoothies so I could refocus my mind and energy. A trip to Mariano's and a visit to the recipe section of navitasnaturals.com followed, because I realized I simply cannot continue on smoothies alone. I chose this site, because Kelly Olexa of fitfluential instagramed a smoothie with this Chia Powder, and raved about the thick texture it achieves and the nutrients it packs. Naturally, I bought that and a few other odd items I'd never heard of, and researched ways to incorporate them into my new low-glycemic mindset in the kitchen.

Who knew you could bake cookies without flour, sugar, eggs, or chocolate chips??

 They didn't turn out perfectly, but they did turn out yummiliscious. Plus, the richness lent itself to a moderate serving of just two.

Do you incorporate coconut oil? Maca root? Cacao powder? What are some of your favorite ways to use them?

A Romantic's Take on the Anti-Valentine

I have never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day.

Sure, I have memories of Valentine's Days past, when my dad gave me jewelry or when my mom taught me how to make lobster tails.

But I never have been a fan of the whole world telling me when to make a huge deal out of telling someone how much I love him. Or transversely, laying the pressure on that special someone so they go overboard making plans to impress me. I don't want just a day. I want a whole lifetime of love. 

Enter my husband. The sweetest, most lovey-dovey guy I have ever met. I love the way his face lights up when he comes home from his early morning gig and sees a yummy plate of French toast. I love the way he waits to pick me up from later classes so that I don't have to go home alone in the dark. Or the times we randomly decide to go out to a fancy dinner, dressed up so much that people ask what the special occasion might be. And the simple Sunday afternoons when we take the dog on a long stroll, and he lets me loop my arm through his. The whispered phrase "I love you" makes me feel more special than any Cupid-driven display in my past life.

One day is simply not enough to show that a relationship is special or worthwhile. Especially the day everyone else is doing the same darn thing. Save the roses and candlelight, this year we're grabbing our friends and sharing the love on another adventure.

"You have to take a look backwards in order to go forward!" --Betsey JohnsonXox

I am the least fashionable person I know, so titling this post with a quote from Betsey Johnson may seem odd; but her persona and energy are electric, and her business savvy is inspiration no matter the field. Plus, it's true (and this dress is super cute). We must learn from our past to better our future. So I took a look back at a post I wrote 5 years ago that commemorated my 6th Mensiversary as a Chicago resident.


As of yesterday, I have lived in Chicago for 6 months. Though I feel a little disappointed in myself, and I'm more broke than I have ever been, I am taking a good friend's advice and counting my accomplishments thus far.

#1 - Equinox Group Fitness Instructor (step aerobics, Evolution, cardio junkie/cardio blitz). Still not teaching enough permanent classes to receive health insurance, but covering for enough instructors to have the members requesting my name on their schedules more often.

#2 - Wicked audition

#3 - Jersey Boys singers call followed by the next day dance call.

#4 - Performing at Double Door

#5 - Getting into the Midnight Shows and lining up gigs

#6 - I don't know. I can't think of a #6. Possibly the fact that I'm still alive? I didn't move away to New York when things got hard? I'm almost done combing through my musical for the last time?


Six Things I want to have accomplished:

#1 - Have lined up a theatre company or space in which to produce Something New: A Musical Dramedy

#2 - Play gigs more than once every other month.

#3 - Pay off my credit card

#4 - Get cast in a show (I will not refer to myself as The Callback Girl ANYMORE)

#5 - Finish recording an EP with Adam

#6 - Get cast in another show



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Flash forward to today, where I now have been a Chicago resident for 5 years and 6 months.

I've lived in 6 apartments.

That credit card is paid off. 

I have played many more than 1 show every other month (Feb 2012 we hit 5 times).

Currently developing new music and exploring a new sound outside of our covers. 

The Midnight Shows doesn't exist anymore, but the creator of that group has moved on to bigger and better things, and it has been enjoyable to watch The Dead On achieve great momentum.

I work enough to not have to worry about money, and believe I have the best job in the world for me. 

I don't really worry about being cast in shows, because I feel as though I have a performance every day. What drew me to performing in the first place was the fact that a group of people could all transcend along the same energy to another mental space and time where nothing else mattered. This is what I have the pleasure of doing multiple times every day, and see that it really helps people.

I also don't worry about auditions anymore, because of the creation of a project where we get to call the shots. Thanks to the guys who allow me to make music with them every day, I feel fulfilled.



Another thing I did notice about that old list was that it was full of loneliness and want. I've learned so much more about the human condition in the past 5 years, and part of that is the acceptance that we will always feel lonely. It is more about strengthening and adding depth to the bonds around us so that in moments of loneliness, we do not feel absolutely destitute. That list was devoid of all aspects that make life accomplishments more enjoyable, and if anything has changed about me in the past 5 years, it is that I'm not afraid to make known how much I love having someone in my life. I have not been afraid to express how much I appreciate the presence and hard work of friends who have stuck by, or the new ones who were brave enough not to hit the ground running when I may have hugged to tight.

Taking a look back to read that last paragraph, I fear it makes me appear needy and it almost got deleted. But alas, those are only words, after all. And as my tattoo states, we must be "louder than words."

Fun In Unsuspecting Places

Only when all expectations are dropped and judgements set aside can we truly open up and let the laughter flow.

Too often, we are consumed by setting plans that have to be a certain way, or setting a bar too high that the struggle seems never ending. It isn't until I drop all preconceived notions and self-ridicule that I find myself finally amidst the laughter instead of surrounded by it.